If you are single and its Valentine’s day, you gottu admit somewhere in a teeny weeny corner of your mind (or heart???) you feel – I wish I didn’t have to celebrate this day just wishing every idiot (of course gals :P) around. But not this time around; this year, all the singles in India have an ‘excuse’. Feb 14th seems to bear more ill omen than any Friday the 13th you knew earlier.The caped of Indian culture, the utterly-unmasked vigilante, the ‘Dark’ Knight if I must say (On second thoughts, ‘Joker’ is a better name, I daresay) is patrolling the streets of Bangalore City. The Dark Lord is gathering his forces; the ‘Eye’ is watching over you in every coffee shop, every restaurant,not to mention any pub you will dare to enter. So my request to the concerned guys and gals – Celebrate Valentine’s day safely.Do not be seen in the proximity of a coffee shop or a pub. It might be injurious to your bf/gf’s health . Or by the end of day, you might end up a married couple ;)
But the whole drama has now taken a very spicy twist . A larger,more formidable force is rising – The ‘Pink Chaddi’ brigade. Battle Royale is on the cards. One can sense a palpable tension in the air as the day approaches.Meanwhile, a popular news channel reporter caught one ‘monkey’ from the ‘Sene’. Here are some excerpts from the interview:
Q: What’s your plan for the Valentine’s day, err..Sir?
A: Quite simple,catch women in tight jeans and teach them Indian culture,in a peaceful manner,with one or two slaps
Q: Do you think doing this will protect Indian culture?
A: Think? I am not programmed to think. Next question
Q: What is your methodology of finding these ‘Pub-going,loose and forward’ women?
A: See, we have these ‘noodle-strap,tight-jeans’ detecting devices fitted on our tongues.We just have to go about wagging our tongues throughout the city. Once these ‘futuristic’ devices detect something, they start beeping and that’s the time we go berserk
Q: And what plans do you have to counter the ‘pink chaddi’ campaign?
A: Don’t you know of a guy who wears ‘red chaddi’ and protects the world? Red nahi to pink hi sahi
Q: The original ‘SriRamaSene’ had only one agenda : to save their queen from the clutches of Ravana and bring her back. Isn’t it ironic that you are one of ‘Sene’ and have plans which are quite deviating from the original one?
A : There was no other ‘ShriRamasene’. We are the only authentic ‘monkeys’ of our kind (much cheering in the background) and our only aim is to protect the Indian Culture
(Suddenly the device starts beeping and he realizes the reporter is wearing a tight jeans. End of interview. It was reported later that the reporter was safe, much to the chagrin of the ‘Joker’ and his followers)
Happy Valentine’s Day :)