Foreword : Don’t panic ;) …for 2 reasons
1. We have moved to WordPress,to explore the world in better ways. 2. I have tried my hand at drawing. (You can click on images for fullscreen viewing).
Some of the images are taken from http://xkcd.com/. I had not mentioned this earlier because it seemed very obvious :). The fact that I wrote this post and copied even the drawing style was sort of a homage to the xkcd guy, Randall Munroe.Hope this clears things up. Go ahead :)
Being a bachelor is bliss.And not the Ignorance-is-bliss wala bliss. How I wish I could continue the same lifestyle forever(I choose my words carefully there and said “lifestyle”, not “life”). Oh wait, why am I talking in this sad and forlorn tone? Hehe, no worries yet. Mom is still in her Stage 1 (coaxing, telling me affectionately that I should get married). But once she goes into her Stage 2 Release (emotional blackmail), the situation will get grim. Even if I survive that stage somehow, she’ll eventually unleash her ultimate Stage 3 Release (crying,tears blah blah). That will be the end of my resistance. But before something like that happens and I run for my dear life to escape her fury and plunge into the labyrinth of marital life, I want to leave behind a legacy.To my fellow geeky bachelors:)
There are a few golden rules while being a bachelor.I admit I cannot call myself a perfect bachelor and I’ve known guys who with sheer genius have taken bachelorhood to colossal levels. But I have been given the resources and the responsibility here. And because I’ve seen Spiderman 1……Er….
With great power comes great responsibility
(memorable words from a fellow bachelor, Mr.Peter Parker)
Rule 1: Remember this while choosing a place to live – The fridge, the TV & you / Your PC (assuming you are always at the PC) form the sides of an isosceles triangle, at the least. More concisely,
dist (you to TV) = dist (you to fridge)
An equilateral triangle with side=6 would be sheer awesomeness. Pay extra rent if you discover such a place.
Rule 2: Ensure at least 90% items in the fridge are beyond their expiry dates at any given point of time. And when you them so, don’t just throw them away randomly. Be a man of principle.
You will do well to have your math in place.
Rule 3: Theory of Relativity : Cleanliness is relative. Measure the cleanliness and wear-ability of your clothes only relative to others in the pile.
R-E-M-E-M-B-A : A spotlessly clean shirt is impossible to achieve.
Rule 4: Cockroaches are FAMILY.Never harm a cockroach harmlessly passing you. If you have just seen a violent action flick and have adrenaline flowing out of you, respectfully yell at the cockroach to stop,face him,give him the respect he deserves by bowing to him and only THEN smack.
And never forget to give a fitting funeral to the martyrs of war.
Rule 5: DO NOT waste internet bandwidth. Always keep downloading movies. Just keep piling them up but never actually watch them.
That was for you ,Vini :)
Rule 6 : When you decide to cook, don’t tell anyone what you are planning to cook. Let them decide what it is after they have tasted it. You never know what you might invent ;)
Wanna try my new Kesari bhath Pongal??? ;)
Rule 7: Never pay the rent on time. Atleast not before 20th of the month.Why,you ask? You think being a bachelor has anything to do with being reasonable?
Rule 8 : Newton’s first law rocks! An object in a state of rest continues to be in a state of rest (on all weekends). “Object in a state of motion”?Nope. Haven’t heard of such a thing.
Ah,who am I kidding??? Superman has sparking super-underpants. And 3 movies.
Peers & friends,let us all contribute in creating a new generation of lazy,apathetic & good-for-nothing bachelors who will be a beacon to carry forward the entire world.Suggest rules which I might’ve missed and worthy ones will find a place in history,like the above 8 rules (:D)
P.S: There is no drawing for Rule 1. Courtesy Rule 8
P.P.S : I feel my chances of finding a gal will dwindle considerably after all this. Maybe I’ll strive to attain Nirvana through bachelorhood. Err….Touchwood :P