A Zero,One Point Five & a Six

That’s the relative boozing experience of the three 26-year-olds who entered Jimi’s beer cafe last Saturday,going by the number of beer mugs they have had all their life .Mathematically speaking,both Krish & Vini had infinitely more experience than me,so to say. A quick flashback to how it all started. Every time ‘Zero’ and ‘1.5’ passed by Jimi’s beer cafe to meet the other zeros,0.25s & 0.3s (if you discount the vodka panipuri they all had which had more paani and little vodka) at Shanti Sagar, the two would wistfully look at the Jimi Hendrix poster at the entrance and say – one day we will conquer this place. Straight out of an 80’s Bollywood movie where the mafia don stands on the edge of the rocks by the sea while staring determinedly at the Mumbai skyline through his kaleidoscopic shades and tells his future side-kick, “Ek din yeh saara sheher meri mutthi mein hoga”. So as I was saying, it all started with eating too much Pav Bhaji and Masala dosa at shanti sagar.

On the historic evening, we stepped into the cafe. We took a 6-mug(Vini) along with us because we thought it’ll be better if we have an “experienced” hand with us, even if it was only a 6-mug experience.As I went in, I felt the eyes of every drunk there glaring down upon me. Its as if they knew. As if they were all thinking “Look at this. Here comes a zero”. As it goes,5 minutes later, we were walking out of the place. Jimi’s beer cafe had nothing but beer! Only beer is just not done for us pros.We need stronger stuff. Also there was the loud music. Hurt my eardrums.What do kids listen to these days! We quietly hopped to Enigma nearby.

After a round of intense speculation and brooding on boodyweiser (Thats what Krish said!), foster and other options, we ordered 330 ml of beers. 6-mug pro haughtily said “330 ml is nothing” and ordered another vodka for himself. The beers came quickly, I took the beer in my hand, heard myself say “You are straying from the path of Dharma,you $#@@#$”, ignored it,said cheers and took a sip. No surprises there.It tasted awful.Vini’s vodka cocktail was much better. Having finished the beer with the help of masala peanuts, I waited for the sensation to kick-in. Nothing happened. Zero mug dutifully raised this query to 6-mug. 6-mug smugly replied “Ha ha,nothing will happen with only this much.Take something more”.”Damn!”. 1.5 mug chipped in as enthusiastic as ever, “Pavan,rum order madona,BY-TWO!”. Ordering by two’s, two by five’s,three by seven’s.The side-effects of having too much coffee at Shanti Sagar. The rum arrived, and it actually tasted good, probably because it was a cocktail,again. Come to think of it now,the addictive influence of alcohol seems totally wasted on us guys.The rum got over too, and we sat there waiting for some fantastic feeling to blow our minds or whatever they call it. And we just sat staring at each other’s faces.Nothing happened. The three mugs were like “Isn’t this supposed to be good enough for a high? Do we need to drink more of this?Should we order something more, and share it, by three?” . Eventually we just paid the bill and walked out,giving each other tough looks and thinking in general “Meh.Seems like I’m too tough for this stupid alcohol have any effect on me”. The truth is that the zero mug & the 1.5 mug had no frigging clue if they were doing this right or not.¬† And the 6-mug was after all a 6-mug; he didn’t know shit either. And that’s how our night of WIN and LAME ended. But I did keep my promise I had made to a fellow zero-mug on my last birthday. I msg’ed him, “I did it!”


13 responses to “A Zero,One Point Five & a Six

  1. If you’d had half a mug, you would have had enough common sense to not call me that.
    6-mug, eh? ;)
    As your god is my witness, Someday I’ll upgrade myself to 12-mugs. :D :D

    Obligatory Bender quote: I am Bender, baby! Please insert liquor. :))

  2. lol…so u guys actually escaped from jimis:D….N from al the hungamas u guys created next cupla days i thought something major had happened THERE!:D…. i dont think u guys need alchohol! ;)..u guys r neways almost always lunatic n on a natural high!:D…(fyi: tat was a compliment :D…incase u guys dint get it! :D)…but next time incase u guys go on a high..call the resT of us too!;)..we’l camcode u ;) n spead ur fame!:D

  3. @Vini,
    12-mugs??? You are aiming for unreachable heights!!!
    Damn, why didn’t I think of it before???
    face palm
    I hereby rechristen you BENDER :D

    Thanku thanku. Generous compliment coming from a person who herself acts like a drunken monkey most of the time :D. And yes, the famed ‘high’ eluded us this time. Lets see. But I don’t wanna drink again :P

  4. Ya that face on that Jimi Cafe looks as if he is challenging us to come and drink :D I also want to drink lots and get an high ( or kick is it? :D ) atleast once in my lifetime :D

    And why is John commenting anonymously? :D

  5. BTW u forgot to mention abt the ppl who were dancing, even we could hv danced atleast by acting as if we r completely in inebriated state :D

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