Crises of our times : Part 3 – To grow up or not to grow up

There are two kinds of people in this world : 1) Those who grow up and get serious with their lives and 2) Those who practise kung-fu in their bathrooms.

I think growing up is over-rated. Also being mature. Given a choice,and by choice I mean if someone tells you “You can be as successful and make as much money and pick up as my gals”, none of us will want to be mature. Most people are so engrossed in pretending to be mature and grown up that they have forgotten that they are all pretending to be so. Come to think of it, the truth is, all kids want to be adults so that they can boss around people and all adults want to be kids so they can do fun stuff without people suggesting they take tranquilizers.

Well, if you still haven’t got it, I am the second kind. Its not easy work being a kid, mind you. Being a child in a grown up’s body throws up its own challenges. There are times when we are forced to act grown up when it would be so easy not to. Like with the elderly lady at a wedding who pinches and twists your cheek so hard (“You are next in line”) it drains the blood off your face and you have a strong urge to yell on top of your voice ala Ross “You son of a bitch! It’ll be your funeral if you don’t let go of my face RIGHT THIS MOMENT”, yet you give the most genial smile ever and stand there rubbing your cheek and still smiling and nodding your head. Or in a team meeting at 2’o clock in the aftrenoon when you have to put a mildly contemplative yet interested face when your manager is rambling on about the project strategy since the last 25 minutes and all you want to do is fling your head back and make loud snoring noises just to annoy him or even better, slowly rise from your seat with both hands wide and shout “I have the power of the 9 tails now. I shall make the world tremble.Kneel before me or I will destroy this conference room. Muhahahahahaha”.

And there are times when we do pretend to be grown ups just for the kicks. I sometimes pour chocolate milkshake into a cocktail glass and sip at it like I’m having some classy Scotch whiskey while puffing at my invisible cigarette. Or when I borrow a highly intellectual sounding novel from the library ( like the one I’m reading right now “The greatest show on earth: The Evidence for Evolution”), force myself into reading it for the next 2 months and then forget all about it within a day of returning the book. Or when I get serious with my life and make to-do lists (if you have seen my last post) and fill it with tasks like – put used dinner plate in the sink, finish 10 pages of the book, call mom today, google if Captain Jack sparrow actually existed. Sometimes I goof up and put a herculean task like “FOLD CLOTHES” in the list but then end of the day, finishing 9/10 tasks is job well done anyway.

In fact this blog post is sort of a rant. Everyone says I’m still a kid.That I need to grow up. My parents and close friends sometimes go – “You are so full of yourself Pavan, you actually don’t know anything.You need to grow up”. The rest of them are no good either – “Pavan, don’t be so innocent. Grow up”. It must be my fault that I show totally different faces of myself to different people, but then so does everyone,right? That point aside,what used to irk me is that they both are trying to make the same point. That I’m still a kid. Now I’ve grown up enough to realize I’ll be happier being a kid than pretending to be a grown-up anyday. In other words,I’m not gonna say I loved The Curious case of Benjamin Button (which I saw recently and found dreary) when I enjoy episodes of Full metal Alchemist (another cheesy and awesome anime) more. And if somebody tells me I need to grow up, I coolly draw my death-ray blaster and…. PUFF!