BJP: The Jas-not-want-ed situation

Last week I heard a couple of friends lamenting the pathetic state BJP is in now. It is true. The “party with a difference” has morphed into a “party with lot of differences”. Lets analyze. Should we start with why Mr.Jaswant Singh, an ex- in the party, had a brainwave that he should write a book on Jinnah, or in the first place,write a book? Varied possibilities shoot out. Just to kill time, to whip up some juicy controversy to get himself publicity and popularity, or the more plausible wanting-to-project-himself-as-the-brand-new-liberal-and-secular-leader etc etc. Mr.Singh chuckles.Heh.Or gives an evil grin. Whatever his motive was, one can be almost sure it didn’t involve him getting expelled from the party and finding himself saying this: “From the Hanuman of the party I have become the Raavan“. Staying true to the party’s ideology by picking characters from the Ramayana. Nicely done. But that is just the beginning…of the end.

Now, Mr.Singh takes the Ramayana ideology a tad too seriously and dons the role of Vibishana, letting out a few skeletons out of the BJP closet, one everyday. Few of you might object to comparing Singh to Raavan’s noble sibling; point noted. Seizing the moment by its throat,another BJP biggie, Arun Shourie jumps to add non-iodized salt to BJP wounds. I was amused for one,that an elderly staunch Hindutva pro politician referencing Humpty Dumpty and Alice(in Blunderland). May be he is trying to strike a chord with Kindergarten & nursery going kids because Politics is a hot topic of discussion for the kids at that age when they are not crying their eyes out over a chocolate snatched by another bullying kid in class. Well, well, if we thought this was enough damage done for us to remember even till the next elections, few within the party did not want to take any chances. Spicy Avakkai pickle on the wounds. And the credit goes to RSS Chief Sudarshan (repeats what JS said earlier). Branching a bit, this Jinnah guy must have been some dude to be able to influence people so long after he’s gone. TOI ran an article on last Sunday referring him as He-who-must-not-be-named or The Dark Lord (from HP series). Touche :P

Thus, skeletons kept rolling out of the closet. Actually, this might have been a sort of theme this month at Delhi. India no match for China,says Navy chief , Pokhran 2 was a fizzle make me say this. Hopefully good sense will prevail soon and wont get to hear things like,hmmm, Lalu was offered DDLJ before ShahRukh,says Rabri or T-Rex never existed (I don’t know about others, but this would be a major trauma for me :D)

The big question is, with the biggest opposition party in the parliament left utterly toothless, how much will it hurt the nation. It will considerably. Sonia Gandhi and Mr.PM must be trying hard to stifle their giggles seeing the goings on with their opponents, BJP and the Left . BJP needs to come out of the ridiculous illusion that the party’s standpoint on Jinnah is going to affect its image or the votes. It needs to come in sync with the current generation and understand that its a worthless endeavor to dig into the past and this passion is better reserved for addressing the issues faced by India,for our future; for keeping the ruling party on its toes and seeing to it that the promises made are delivered. The sooner it happens, the better for the party and more importantly, for the country.

Phone Call…

(Manu Singh is plucking at a flower,looking forlorn)
“He loves me… He loves me not…He loves me.. He loves me not… “

“Manu Saar, how long will you keep waiting for his call? You haven’t had a grain of rice since last fifteen days. He got elected as the President just 15 days back. He will call you… Hundradantonty percent! Come now, the paranthas are getting cold…”

“I just hope the other guy hasn’t forgotten to tell this guy about our deal before leaving. I have serious doubts about the previous guy’s memory. When the deal was being inked, he was telling me a joke about Spiderman & Superman . I didn’t get the joke but guffawed anyway and said Sunny Deol is the best” (Gets up to fetch the paranthas)

Trrinngg.. Trrinnnng….Trrrinnngg…

“Thats Mr.O calling!(gleefully) Manu saar, didn’t I tell you they all love you!? Here… “

(Manu comes back running and picks the receiver)

“Hello Mr.O!”

“Hellooo Manu!”

(in a complaining voice)“So finally you remembered me,Mr.O???”

“I’m really sorry Manu. You know I’ve been very busy since last 15 days, moving into the new HOUSE,setting up the house, painting it with white, all that you see…”

“You had to paint THE house WHITE???”

“Yes, the previous occupant had stayed for too long and had left too many marks. When I reached the house and was about to enter it,I saw right on the door was written in huge bold letters – ‘B was here.B didn’t wanna leave.They threw B out’. And there were other quotes too on the walls inside the house.So it look a hell-lot-of time to white wash the house and settle down”

“I see,I see. And what is this I hear Mr.O? You called up the neighborhood guy before calling me and spoke to him for a whole 20 minutes. A clear shift of interests?”(in a complaining & disapproving voice again)

“Hellooo..Manu…Helloo….I can’t hear you.Can you speak up a bit?”

(Manu hesitates)“Ok. I am very relieved and happy with your answer…”

“My pleasure!”

“Mr.O,what do you think of our Chandrayaan?(proudly)Isn’t it a phenomenal achievement?”

(Mr.O LOLs)“Oh that was hilarious,dude. Awesome movie. I was not able to catch a few lines here and there because of the language but the song & dance was totally cool…”

(Manu remains serene as usual)“Umm..Err…Cool. Coming to serious issues,how do you plan to stem the economic slowdown of the country,Mr.O?”

“YES!WE CAN!”

“Wow! And issues like terrorism,global warming etc, how do we tackle them???”

“Manu,dont you worry! I have a solid plan .The plan is ….umm…YES!WE CAN!”

“One question, Mr.O . Everyone seems to be very inspired by your ‘Yes,we can’ quote. How did you come up with such an inspirational quote?”

“Ah, that one? Well, to be frank,the morning I was to give a public speech,my wife was pestering me about taking our pet dog to the veterinarian. She called up again while I was in the midst of the speech. I picked up the phone & yelled into the mike ‘YES!WE CAN!’. And,the rest,as they say, is history”

“Fascinating story. Now, when are you giving us the opportunity to give you a taste of the great Indian hospitality, Mr.O? Can you smell the hot hot paranthas I’ m having while talking to you?”

“Oh Manu!Stop with the jokes! You’re killing me…”

(Manu chuckles)“You haven’t yet told when told will be your visit to India?”

“Hellooo..Helloo..I can’t hear you Manu….”

“But I can hear your voice crystal clear Mr.O. Helloo, can you hear me now? So when will you be coming to India to…”

“Helloo..Manu..Helloo..Cant hear ya.. TTYL…Yes,we can…Ciao…”

(Phone disconnects)

“Mr.O is a great man..At least he called…”

P.S. : Not totally off-topic, The Shawshank Redemption totally rocks! ;)