Rajni-o-Rama

I sincerely hope this deadly set of original non-jokes (one or two modified) will spell an end to all Rajni-isms once and for all. Until his next movie that is.

1. Google has officially announced it will replace “I’m feeling lucky” with “I feel I’m Rajnikanth”
2. Once Rajnikanth got very angry and crushed a TV totally flat. Steve Jobs calls it the iPad.
3. Rajnikanth was the chief guest at The Last Supper. He complained to Jesus about the oily masala dosa.
4. Reputed economists felt that the country’s economy is highly dependent on the number of times Rajnikanth says “Mind it…Rascala” in a day. A count is being maintained now. Its called the Sensex.
5. There is no spoon,because Rajnikanth is using the spoon to eat Idly Sambar.
6. Why did Rajnikanth stop jogging? Because he went jogging once and landed in the year 3010 .
7. Rajnikanth once hit Newton with an apple.
8. Micheal Schumacher and Rajnikanth had a race. And guess what? Rajnikanth lost the race by .03 seconds!  If I have to mention, Micheal was in his Ferrari and Rajnikanth was sleep walking.
9. Rajnikanth has watched Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag, one-and-a-half times.(Even Rajni couldn’t watch any more)
10. What happens when Rajnikanth travels in  BMTC 201 bus? After getting down, his pockets will be filled with wallets.
11. Rajnikanth gets sambar with dosa in MTR.Period.
12. One day Balayya visited Rajnikanth and paid his respects. It was Teachers’ Day.
13. Before Rajnikanth successfully created his clone “Chitti the Robot”, there were some failed and rejected prototypes. 1st one was called Superman, 2nd one Batman and the 3rd Spiderman.
14. Every year,Rajnikanth sends Christmas gifts to only one person – The Santa Claus.
15. Once Rajnikanth got sucked into a black hole….and walked out from the other end of it.
16. Rajnikanth has never written a for loop in his life,because….. if Rajnikanth says 1 time, it is equal to Rajnikanth saying n times; n <= infinity.
17. Rajnikanth’s law of Brownian motion : Bullets from the villain’s gun move in random directions and will eventually hit the villain and all his chamchas.
18. Coffee with Karan changes its name for Rajnikanth episode – Chakara Pongal with Rajni.
19. As a kid, Rajnikanth had a huge score to settle with another boy for stealing his toy airplane. The boy went into hiding and has been absconding ever since. His name is Osama Bin Laden.
20. Christopher Nolan wanted to cast Rajnikanth in INCEPTION. But Rajni wanted slight changes in the plot – Rajni has a twin brother. Both incept into each other’s minds, they find two more twin brothers there in limbo, and together they incept again into each other’s minds. Then the bad guy enters. At this point, Nolan stopped Rajni and ran off to meet Leonardo Di Caprio.
21. PI (22/7) insulted Rajnikanth long time ago. Since then, it is called an irrational number.
22. The code of The Matrix has this as its first line :  #include<thalaivar.h>. That’s how Neo learnt KungFu.