Celeb resolutions

My friend Vinay calls me Paparazzi Potter. Motivated by the nick name, I have been doing some paparazzi work off late and have come across some interesting gossip,sorry truth,truth and nothing but truth. 2009 has seen many controversies and our celebrities have made resolutions for 2010.I have learned about some of these resolutions from our so called celebrities. Let’s have a look.

Our honorable Minister of State, Shashi Tharoor has resolved to work for the External ministry through twitter only. So in the future, you may find tweets like these on Tharoor’s page :

•  Me n SMK (SM Krishna) met our Chinese cntrparts for dinner. I asked them to open their eyes and LOLd
•  Writing this report while watching ‘Dawn of the Dead‘. Lyk it and hope I dont end up with a report on zombies ;)

Shiney Ahuja has decided to do all the household chores himself as it’ll keep him occupied while being jobless and it will serve another bigger purpose too, of introspection.No maids in 2010!

Kareena Kapoor was the only one in the country who actually understood what problem Shiv Sena had with this poster of Kurbaan–>
So her resolution for 2010 is have a poster with the positions reversed.She said in a press meet “I am sure the Shiv sainiks will have no complaints after this”

Pramod Mutalik‘s new year resolution is simple and straightforward. Attack more girls in public. According to a source, the Pink chaddi campaign didn’t live upto their expectations and the party seniors are complaining that many cadres haven’t got even one pink chaddi yet while the more powerful and influential ones are keeping all the chaddis

Barack Obama‘s resolution is  to not do or say something which will get him another Nobel prize this year. “I will strive my level best,” says a press release from Washington D.C. quoting the US President, “but I cannot guarantee that the Nobel committee will not decide to confer me the Peace Prize again. They are nice people.Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Oh, I digress”

Tiger Woods has a resolution too . But just as he was announcing it, he saw a blonde passing by and before they could catch him, he was gone.

Satyam’s RamaLinga  Raju has other plans. He has just watched Shawshank Redemption in jail and now is planning to reprise Andy Dufrense’s character in real life, but in a much professional and polished way than digging a hole for 20 years. He has planned to manipulate the records in the jail so much that there is will be no evidence that he was ever in jail. And finally he’ll make a dramatic escape, something like in this pic.

In midst of all this, one man has made a silent resolution to himself. Or I wish he has. Hit a century in every match :D. Sachin Tendulkar : Switch to GODMODE!

Any other celebs whose resolutions you would wanna know? ;)

Happy New Year everyone! Let the FUN continue :)

BJP: The Jas-not-want-ed situation

Last week I heard a couple of friends lamenting the pathetic state BJP is in now. It is true. The “party with a difference” has morphed into a “party with lot of differences”. Lets analyze. Should we start with why Mr.Jaswant Singh, an ex- in the party, had a brainwave that he should write a book on Jinnah, or in the first place,write a book? Varied possibilities shoot out. Just to kill time, to whip up some juicy controversy to get himself publicity and popularity, or the more plausible wanting-to-project-himself-as-the-brand-new-liberal-and-secular-leader etc etc. Mr.Singh chuckles.Heh.Or gives an evil grin. Whatever his motive was, one can be almost sure it didn’t involve him getting expelled from the party and finding himself saying this: “From the Hanuman of the party I have become the Raavan“. Staying true to the party’s ideology by picking characters from the Ramayana. Nicely done. But that is just the beginning…of the end.

Now, Mr.Singh takes the Ramayana ideology a tad too seriously and dons the role of Vibishana, letting out a few skeletons out of the BJP closet, one everyday. Few of you might object to comparing Singh to Raavan’s noble sibling; point noted. Seizing the moment by its throat,another BJP biggie, Arun Shourie jumps to add non-iodized salt to BJP wounds. I was amused for one,that an elderly staunch Hindutva pro politician referencing Humpty Dumpty and Alice(in Blunderland). May be he is trying to strike a chord with Kindergarten & nursery going kids because Politics is a hot topic of discussion for the kids at that age when they are not crying their eyes out over a chocolate snatched by another bullying kid in class. Well, well, if we thought this was enough damage done for us to remember even till the next elections, few within the party did not want to take any chances. Spicy Avakkai pickle on the wounds. And the credit goes to RSS Chief Sudarshan (repeats what JS said earlier). Branching a bit, this Jinnah guy must have been some dude to be able to influence people so long after he’s gone. TOI ran an article on last Sunday referring him as He-who-must-not-be-named or The Dark Lord (from HP series). Touche :P

Thus, skeletons kept rolling out of the closet. Actually, this might have been a sort of theme this month at Delhi. India no match for China,says Navy chief , Pokhran 2 was a fizzle make me say this. Hopefully good sense will prevail soon and wont get to hear things like,hmmm, Lalu was offered DDLJ before ShahRukh,says Rabri or T-Rex never existed (I don’t know about others, but this would be a major trauma for me :D)

The big question is, with the biggest opposition party in the parliament left utterly toothless, how much will it hurt the nation. It will considerably. Sonia Gandhi and Mr.PM must be trying hard to stifle their giggles seeing the goings on with their opponents, BJP and the Left . BJP needs to come out of the ridiculous illusion that the party’s standpoint on Jinnah is going to affect its image or the votes. It needs to come in sync with the current generation and understand that its a worthless endeavor to dig into the past and this passion is better reserved for addressing the issues faced by India,for our future; for keeping the ruling party on its toes and seeing to it that the promises made are delivered. The sooner it happens, the better for the party and more importantly, for the country.